It's What Canadians Do
December 30, 2011 If you read this post, you need to pinkie swear first that you won't call child protective services on me, kay?
* * * * *
I gave birth twice. I'm not having any more children. This kitchen is closed. So you'd think I'd want to keep the ones I have safe, right?
Just one problem. I'm Canadian. I'm culturally obligated to let my offspring participate in somewhat ... er ... unconventional activities.
Admittedly, the following story illustrates a rather bizarre way to enforce national pride. But I don't make the rules. I just live here.
So here's how we spent Boxing Day.
"Ok girls, guess what we're doing today.
We're going to get into this galvanized-steel-coffin-on-tracks (otherwise known as a snowcat)
named "Felix"
and I'm going to let your Uncle (my brother)
drive us for about an hour along 12 miles (20km)
up a vertical mile
to an elevation of 7,400 ft (2,300 m) at the top of a mountain.
When we get there he's going to use Felix to dig a huge pit in the 4' (1.2m) deep snow in about 30 seconds
and we're going to make a bonfire
so we can roast sausages & marshmallows to go with the smoked salmon sandwiches, veggies, shortbread cookies & chocolate packed for us to eat
while sitting on snowbenches,
complete with hot chocolate mug holders.
Then I'm going to let your Uncle take us waaaaay up there,
where your mom will almost s%&* herself
(Okay dude, seriously? Dude?! DUUUUDE!! STOOOOOP!!! I am SO NOT LIKING THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!)
'cause she reeeeeally doesn't like heights.
Up here I'm going to give you an inner tube ... yep, that inflatable rubber donut that comes with warnings about "causing serious injury & even death".
That's right girls, that what it says right here in big bold letters ... SERIOUS INJURY & EVEN DEATH.
I'm going to let you sit in this human-missile-maker with absolutely no safety devices and have someone give you a big push from this spot right here
and I'm going to let you fly down the mountain
at god knows what speed
and hope you stop before you disappear over the edge.
Then I'm going to follow you on a sheet of plastic called a crazy carpet ...
... in a manner that could not POSSIBLY be less dignified.
And then we're going to do it again. And again. All afternoon.
At some point, your Aunt & I are going to think it's a good idea to share an inner tube down the mountain
and we're going to have an EPIC wipeout
and then laugh until we can't breathe.
Ok girls, you up for all that?
Good.
Now go put your helmets on. Wouldn't want you to get hurt."
Humor, Parenthood 
Reader Comments (50)
Now I KNOW you're crazy!!!!!!
V x
and just think.. some people don't even let their kids stand on a chair... huh :-)
MY daughter would be right there with you!!! As for me?? I'm not into cold nor heights :-)
Hahaha! All in good fun, eh?
Oh, Kristyne, I dream of days like this!!! You are a brave soul! Those smiles are priceless! :)
What a lovely way to spend Boxing Day. Glad you had fun zipping down the hill with everyone.
What grand smiles displayed--signs of a good time had by all.
oh man.....that was TOOO FUNNY!!!! Got a goooooood chuckle out of the whole thing and really wish I was there. Love the picture of you on the crazy carpet LOL!!
I laughed so much about this almost like Briget Jones, LOL! Girl I love you and your crazyness;-) Wish you and your family a happy new year see you next year!
Hildy
I am very proud of you! What a memory they will cherish forever! "Remember when mom and Uncle......"
Sweeeeeeeeeet, I want a go !!!!!!!!
Karen :D
HOLY MOLY! That looks like fun!!! I think the inner tubes are safer than those stupids metal round saucers that I got talked into riding ONE TIME ONLY! Scary!
I love that 'someone' stayed down at the end of the hill to take the pictures....btw, does grandma know that Uncle Bill was endanagering the lives of her granddaughters...hmmm? I think you've got dirt on your brother and Felix the Cat! ;p
So jealous! You are one very cool mum! :)
AWESOME!!!! You ROCK Kristyne!!
Child protective services? I think you need mama protective services! Bet they were fine and had a ball. You gotta let them do fun things.....and besides, it makes you a rockstar mama!
That looks like fun!
In summertime in NZ, substitute the snow with sheep poo (though definitely not that deep, a little goes a long way you know), and sit on a plastic disk without a helmet, hoping you stop before you hit the lake.
Ah, good times :)
Your blog is a " must read every single morning" and today is a good day because it started with good LOL!!! How can you manage posting something awesome every day on your blog , 2 kids , house ,husband and been "a such fun to be with" mom? It must be a Canadian thing !!!! Thank you for the good times throughout this year and BEST WISHES for 2012!!
ROFLOL! You are a COOL mom! Sounds like a BLAST!
Oh my that looks like way too much fun!!! Thanks for sharing you snowy pictures!
Next year I'm spending Christmas (and Boxing Day!) with you!!!
You did realize how cold it was out there before you went out, didn't you? I mean COLD!
Former Mid-westerner who now lives in California where it doesn't snow,
Jean
Love those huge smiles. Looks like loads of fun!
So hilarious! As a Canadian and a mother, good times, eh? I do, however, share your fear of such heights and have nervously kept up with my children on various mountains on skis while they snowboarded with ease and cool-ness.
totally hilarious and why I love Canadians!! I'm 35 miles from the border and keep threatening I'm going to move. Love your stories!
Awesome! My 15-year-old is totally envious. Here in the States we probably have laws against that, and you need a permit too. LOL.
It looks like you all had so much fun!
Holy smokes!! I love the laughing until you can't breathe, part. That's the best kind of activity with sisters and/or sisters-in-law. But flying down the mountain? Oh my! Glad you had such fun!
Wow, that is gorgeous scenery, but ya'll are nuts!!! I grew up in Ohio and went sled riding all winter long, but on little bitty hills. Happy New Year!
you are braver than I but I'm from California...we do water not snow. This looks like so much fun and I won't tell my boys because they would be so jealous of what your kids got to do!
It was almost as much fun reading your rendition as playing with you. I love you!
AWESOME! You have to absolutely being having the time of your lives!
Lokks like so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoops! I mean LOOKS like so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh wowza! What an adventure. And for the record let me say that I AM Canadian and have never done such things. ;-) Looks like a blast though. I think.....
Thank goodness there is at least one person left in this world who doesn't shout "Heath and Safety" everytime someone wants to do something slightly dangerous....what a fabulous experience for you and your girls. When I think of the things we did as kids and that now wouldn't be allowed....but we learned from our mistakes and I think we were the better for it. Have a wonderful 2012. Linda
Excellent! Priceless, days like that.
Hahaha! Sounds great! I bet they had a wonderful time! Love reading your blog, you always make me laugh!
Have a very happy new year 2012!!
xx
Looks like you had a great day! Aren't inner tubes wonderful - on snow or water, they're so much fun. The photos of your daughters laughing are precious - happy faces.
I just nominated you for Mom of the year!!!!
Too funny! Almost, but not quite, makes me sad we are in the south.
Awesome you are a great mom!
Awesome!!! I want to move to Canada!!
You made me laugh out loud!
Thank you!
Kristyne, that was such a hilarious post. I almost *$^!*@ my pants just reading it. Too funny. It kinda makes me want to be Canadian for Boxing Day.
Hi Kristyne, wow, SOOOO much fun - I am sooo envious. Here in Australia we are sweltering in the heat. I have always wanted to have a White Christmas (or at least some snow on the holidays). I can just imagine how much fun it would be! Wishing you a wonderful 2012!
Lol!!! Love your stories and I'd love to be there too :)
Good for you! I remember having crazy fun like that when I was a kid. It looks like you all survived just fine!
Oh my, that looks like such a lot of fun!!!
I wanna go! Have my own helmet :)
WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW! WOW!!!
I WANT TO BE CANADIAN TOO!!!!
I think THIS is the sort of adventure that is just going to HAVE to be one of my lifetime challenges. My kids would LOVE IT!! :oD
We live in Southern England and we haven't seen ANY snow yet this Winter! Next Winter we're coming to Canada! x
OMG! how beautiful. I love the snow when we are properly dressed of course. We get 70 degrees down here in florida and I need the first layer of long sleeves! How lovely, what a wonderful view and a super fun ride down. Thanks for sharing!
this'd be why we call you Crazy Canucks then.